Mindful Eating

mmurraypsy — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 00:06:19 +0000

FREEDOM TO EAT

mindful Eating is not about weight loss; it’s about reclaiming the pleasure and satisfaction of food and eating. You may indeed lose weight when you eat mindfully, as you return to your natural weight.

You may be scared to let go of dieting and the diet mentality. “What’s going to become my weight and my size”? “I’m going to be completely out of control; I’m just going to get bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier”. “I just have to have a plan”.

But you will also be learning a lot. You will resign from the clean plate club; you will be able to leave half your meal on the restaurant table and walk out, not because you are being good, that is, denying yourself, but because you don’t want any more. You’re full, satisfied – and you don’t care that you paid for all that food. The restaurant has a food disposal, and you’re not it.

You’ll become more keenly aware of your hunger and what you are hungry for. You may have ice cream in your freezer and be surprised to find that most of the time you hardly think about it; at other times you might have a craving for ice cream and you’ll have some and enjoy it without feeling guilty and without going overboard.

You’ll be learning to accept and appreciate your body and the ways it takes care of you. Your body is your only home in this life, this material existence. Your body is intuitive; it knows better than you do what its proper weight, shape and size should be and it will fight you to have its way. You can help by honoring your body’s natural and healthy instincts and choosing foods intelligently, not according to calorie content or points but according to your best estimates of what makes balanced eating.

You will be teaching yourself to eat when you are hungry, to enjoy what you are eating – the look, the texture, the smells and the tastes of your food – and to stop eating when you are satisfied.

You’ll also learn to tell when you are eating for emotional needs, anger, loneliness, stress, and to find better ways to handle these feelings.

You won’t just be learning to enjoy eating; you’ll also learn to be at home in your body and to enjoy life more, to make sure you have time and energy for yourself and for the kinds of things that bring satisfaction and fulfillment to your spirit.

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The Beggar And The Bellyaching King

mmurraypsy — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 02:05:12 +0000

When I was growing up in Ireland, back in the thirties and forties, I remember seeing quite a few homeless people, wandering the highways in their tattered clothes. We called them beggars and didn’t pay much attention to them; they were just part of the order of things.

I’m going to tell you a story we learned in school about one beggar named Eoiny Lynch , and, of course, it had a lesson attached to it.

Long ago in Ireland there was a king who had a terrible stomachache that never let up, and a disposition to go with it – it’s hard to tell which came first, the pain or the disposition. Several physicians had been called to the Royal Court to try their hand at diagnosing and treating the King. One after the other, they would examine the King and shake their heads and say they were very sorry, but they couldn’t find anything the matter with his majesty and, one after the other, they would lose their heads.

Well this went on for a while, with the physicians giving their conclusions and promptly losing their heads. Naturally what doctors were left were very anxious to make themselves scarce, to avoid such a high-risk invitation – except for one young man, just out of college, and full of the latest ideas in medicine, and a lot of psychology. He came up to the King’s Court and announced he might just have the right kind of medicine that could cure the Kings stomach problems. The King, of course, was willing to try anything. He also warned the young man that he’d better have a cure, or he’d follow the other doctors where thy were.

The young doctor examined the King. He asked the King a lot of questions. What foods he ate, which ones seemed to disagree with him the most, and so on. The young man shook his head a lot, in sympathy with the Kings complaints, especially about the failures of the previous doctors. When he finished he had a look on his face that indicated deep thought. Finally, he looked at the King gravely and said, “Your majesty, when I was studying the art of healing, I came across accounts of this rare and serious condition, just like what’s bothering you. You do indeed have a very serious – I might even venture to say life threatening – ailment. There is only one cure for this. You must acquire and wear the shirt off the back of a happy man. I stake my life on it. You must wear this shirt for seven days and nights, and you will no longer be bothered by pain or upset again”. “At least you’re not telling me, like the rest of these charlatans, that it’s all in my head, said the King. I don’t know about the shirt; that seems far-fetched, but I’m a desperate man and I’ve got nothing to lose in giving it a try. You, on the other hand, will lose your head if it doesn’t work”.

The King sent messengers all over the land, thinking it wouldn’t be hard to find a happy man so he could try on his shirt. The messengers first went to the mansion of a wealthy farmer, thinking he would certainly be happy with all he possessed. The rich man listened to the story of the King. “Indeed, he said, I’d be more than obliged to give his majesty six of my best shirts, but I’m not atall a happy man. I don’t sleep hardly at all at night. I’m always worrying about my sheep out on the hill. Will the wolves, or the thieves rob me of them? I’m afraid my shirt wouldn’t do the trick atall atall . The king’s messengers talked with several other rich merchants and landowners, and they always got the same story; those who had the most had the greatest fear because they were the ones who had the most to lose.

“Well, the rich people aren’t much help”, said the messengers. “But let’s go to the university. These people are learned and wise. They must know the secrets of a happy life”. So with high hopes they headed for the seat of the highest learning and talked to a gathering of the most respected professors and told them what the king was looking for and that they were sure they would be able to get the shirt of a happy man in this place. The professors sat in silence a long time, nobody willing to say whether he was happy or not. Finally one of the more senior professors spoke up. “You’d think, wouldn’t you, that all our learning would have made us happy? But I regret to say that it’s not so. We think too much and we’re always arguing, afraid the other fellow will look wiser than yourself. All we think about is our position in the university and in the community. No, I’m afraid, this is not the place to find the king’s cure.”

The king’s messengers were running out of ideas. Finding a happy man was turning out to be much more difficult than they had imagined. Now they were getting a bit desperate. How were they supposed to explain their failure to the king? Finally one of them said, “If the people who have all the money and all the learning can’t be happy, maybe the simple peasants, the ones who don’t have a lot of money, and certainly don’t have a lot of learning, are happy.” They all perked up at that suggestion; it made a lot of sense. So they fanned out throughout the land and talked to the peasants, telling them about their king and this great opportunity these loyal subjects had to cure his majesty’s stomachache. Well, the peasants weren’t too happy at this suggestion. “As a matter of fact”, said the peasants, “we’re quite miserable. What with you king taking most of our hard-earned money in taxes and forcing our sons to sacrifice their lives for his stupid wars, we live in constant fear. Even if we were happy – and it would be no thanks to your king if we were – we wouldn’t be giving our shirts to the likes of him.

Now the king’s messengers were ready to give up. They were exhausted and very dejected, as they made their way back to the castle. Surely, they thought, there must be at least one truly happy person in the land, but how were they supposed to find such a happy man? On their way back to the king’s castle, thy stopped in a wood for the night, to rest up for the ordeal that awaited them at home. While they sat around, in a clearing, discussing the best way to explain their failure to the king, in a way best calculated to save their heads; they heard someone singing merrily in the distance. This caught their attention immediately. Could this be the one they were looking for? Probably not, but he certainly sounded happy. The got up and made their way through the woods, guided by the sound of the merry song. The came on a clearing and saw this little man, a beggar man, sitting on a log, in front of a little fire, with a sausage on the end of a stick, roasting in the flame.

When the little beggar saw the king’s men, He was startled. He stopped singing. Then he grinned. “I’d love to share my dinner with you, he said, but I don’t think one sausage will go very far,” The king’s men were beginning to regret their coming on this dirty, ragged little man. It was obvious he led a miserable existence. They were about to leave in disgust, but one of them said to the little beggar, “are you happy?” The others stopped and looked at the beggar. He laughed loudly and took a little sample of his sausage. “Yes, I’m happy”, he said. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?” I don’t have a care in the world. No taxes to pay, no rent to pay. I’m free as a bird. All I need is a little fire to warm me and a sausage to fill my stomach.”

The king’s men gasped in surprise and delight. This was the very one they were looking for. They said, “Well you are one lucky man. You’re going to be rich.” They told him the story of their quest; it’s ups and downs. Their leader pulled out a weighty bag of money. “This is for you”, he said. “All we want is your shirt for the king.” When the beggar heard this, he laughed so hard his side hurt. He finally stopped laughing, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m a happy man indeed”, he said, “But”, he added, pulling his coat open, “I don’t own a shirt!”

The king’s men were stunned. Imagine, the one happy man they had found, and he didn’t have a shirt to his name!

With great fear they dragged themselves back to the king When they entered his presence and saw the sour look on his face, they believed this was the end of the line for them. “Where’s the shirt you were supposed to be bringing me”, he demanded. In a great rush they poured out their story of misfortunes, the rich man, the learned me, the peasants and, finally the little beggar in the woods. The king listened intently to their story without so much as a word, good or bad. When they had finished talking, the king said to one of his guards, “Go find me the young doctor who prescribed for me and bring him here immediately.” When the young physician came before the king, the king had his messengers repeat their story. The young man listened with great interest. “To everybody’s surprise, with the exception of the young doctor, the king broke out into a grin. “Young man”, he said, you are indeed a brilliant and a wise physician. I have been lying to myself for a long time, and have paid a high price. Now you’ve gotten through to me and I see how I have allowed the weight of my responsibilities to overwhelm me. I’ve made myself bitter and my bitterness got into my stomach”. From that day on things were more relaxed around the palace and the kingdom.

Wisdomsbridge's Blog

Mindful Eating

The Beggar And The Bellyaching King